Rory, you were my messenger when you wrote: Thru The Valley of the Shadow of Death
Rory, thank God for your message. I started reading this after coming in from my outside closet where I talk to my Lord. For a long time my body has been broken. In January 2009, I had a terrible motorcycle wreak here in the Philippines. A drunken man riding a bicycle darted in front of me and we crashed. While those at the accident site claim I was conscious and talking, to this very day I remember nothing of the aftermath of the crash. For 3 days after the crash I remember nothing, some bits and pieces, a few seconds of words that seem like dreams, possibly true, but I've never been sure.
Complicating my crash, I was prescribed Oxycontin and apparently my body reacts differently than most. Everything I put in my mouth tasted like cardboard, making me sick. For 30 days I struggled losing about 1 pound per day. I now weigh less than I did when I wrestled in high school where I was trying to reduce my weight to maintain my weight class. Less than 126 lbs. My normal weight is 170 lbs. To this very day I have struggled to get the weight back on, but it seems issues that come from mysterious places prevent me as I start making any progress.
At this same time I am fighting against poverty and corruption in the Philippines, while also teaching and speaking out about Salvation, the End Times, my doubts about Pre-/Mid-Tribulation Rapture, and anything else the Holy Spirit guides me to address. I am nothing but a good old Kentucky country-boy, a rural raised man, not a minister, not a teacher, but I have been called to do both of those here. I sometimes feel so weak, not capable of doing the Lord's Work properly. The crash weakened me, while I was still trying to recover from a earlier illness in 2007, Amoebic Dysentery. All of my medical attention for those was here in the Philippines, so the quality of the medical treatments is a little in question. I sometimes experience Vertigo and my balance is disrupted a great deal. A shame because I loved snow skiing, water skiing, roller skating; many of the sports that require good balance. Of course most of those are not even available here, so maybe I’ve lost little.
My Prayer before reading your article was for Jesus to come make His presence felt by me, so I could gain strength to help non-believers. To guide them; my community and my family to Jesus. I'm over 8000 miles from my home, and actually right now, I don't even have a home in the US. But the US is still my home; I don't need a house there. My memories are the home that I remember. My strength over the past few weeks has ebbed, and then been renewed by Jesus. I've felt His Presence, but there are also times when I don't feel him. It worries me; I know that during my lowest times He promised to carry me. And someday when I look back at this time I will know then that he was carrying me, but when you are at those moments, it feels so lonely. I miss my Lord during these times. I reach out to others and confess myself, just as you did. I guess my messenger does not have to be in person. The internet provided mine. And I thank you for being that messenger Rory.
I really wish the Lord would reveal those 3 days to me, but if not I will still follow His teachings, and will still do His Will. I would like to ask you Rory, to keep me in your prayer if you will. I don't ask for anything for myself, but for these dear friends and family here in the Philippines, I do ask for your prayer for them. And I ask you to also pray for my home family in the United States. So much trouble happening there right now. My heart is with all my American Brothers and Sisters.
With all My Blessing,